Yeah The Girls 40 Plus Digital Magazine - Magazine - Page 44
June 2025
44
Numb the dark and
you numb the light. —
Brené Brown
YOU’RE NOT BROKEN…YOU’RE
NUMB. AND THAT’S A SIGN OF
SURVIVAL, NOT FAILURE.
There’s a stage in the trauma response cycle that doesn’t always get talked about. It’s
the one where you’re functioning, but you’re flat. You’re not in fight-or-flight, you’re not
having panic attacks or outbursts, but you’re not really feeling either.
You’re just… getting through.
For many women I work with, this space of emotional numbness feels safer than the
chaos they’ve previously lived in. It can feel like calm. Like peace. But in truth, it’s a
survival mechanism, a way the nervous system protects us from overwhelm by
disconnecting us from our emotional body.
And while it may feel better than the storm, numbness is not the same as healing.
WHY NUMBNESS HAPPENS
When we experience ongoing stress, trauma, or emotional neglect (especially in
childhood), our body learns that feeling is dangerous. It’s not a conscious decision, it’s
the subconscious saying,
